Lillian Shepherd

"Your father and I... we loved you so much... but they said we could only choose one.
 * —Lillian to Alex, regarding her sons"

Lillian Shepherd is a character in Silent Hill: Homecoming. She is the wife of Adam Shepherd and the mother of Alex Shepherd, the game's protagonist, and Joshua Shepherd. Her husband's family line is one of the four that founded the town of Shepherd's Glen as she was married into the Shepherd family.

Biography
According to Alex's diary, it is heavily implied that Lillian had difficulties conceiving. Alex mentions, "After I was born, my parents tried to have another child for a long time." suggesting that they frequently tried for nine years.

She became involved with her husband's family's dark lineage and ways of the Order. To keep up the pact with the Order's god and prevent Shepherd's Glen from being cursed, Lillian agreed to sacrifice her child to the Order's god, and so she decided to choose her first born son. In 1985, Lillian gave birth to Alex and although she loved him, she knew that one day, he would need to be drowned.

When Joshua was born into the family in 1994, Lillian began to prioritize him over Alex. She spent a lot of time cradling Joshua in her rocking chair. It eventually got to the point that when Alex was a teenager, they barely showed him any, if at all, affection. However, both Lillian and Adam knew that suppressing their affection would make Alex's eventual death emotionally affect them less.

One of Joshua's photos reveals that Margaret Holloway visited Lillian in her home, and during their conversation, Lillian cried, likely because Margaret reminded Lillian what must be done to save Shepherd's Glen.

After Joshua died and Alex was sent away, Elle Holloway visited the Shepherd House, but all she could hear was crying behind the door.

It is unknown if Lillian knows of Joshua's death. She tells Alex that she misses Joshua and that Adam went searching for him, suggesting she does not know. It is possible that Adam kept what happened to Joshua a secret from everyone for four years, including her, and had told her that Joshua was simply missing. However, Margaret seems to have some information on the subject, so it may be that everyone agreed it was just better if Lilian did not know. Additionally, it is unknown if Lillian knows if Alex was sent to a mental institution. Alex tells her, "I just got discharged. I was in the hospital for a bit, but I'm all right now." although Lillian could have believed Alex was discharged from either the military or mental hospital. Adam once kept details from Elle, telling her Alex only "left", so Adam may have told Lillian that Alex went to join the military, and presumably fight in the Iraq War.

During the past couple months prior to Homecoming, Elle noticed disturbing things happening around the town. In October 2007, Elle began interacting with Lillian and promised to check on her once a week to make sure she was okay, to which Lillian simply nodded.

Silent Hill: Homecoming


When Alex returns home, he finds his mother in a near catatonic state. She tells him how everyone has gone and how she misses his brother. Alex soon discovers that she is in possession of a gun, which Alex takes from her. He promises her that he will find Joshua, which is apparently the only thing she can bring herself to talk about, as his whereabouts seem to be the only thing that matter to her. At the end of the conversation, she refuses to talk to Alex any more, saying she's tired and wants to be alone for now, despite not seeing him for four years. Instead, she merely asks Alex, rhetorically, if he is looking for Joshua.

Later in the game, Alex, with the new-found information from his father's note, attempts to question his mother about Silent Hill and Joshua once again. He tells her, "Stop pretending you care about me and start telling me what's going on! Joshua is the only one you ever cared about, and I can help him if you tell me the truth!" However, during their conversation, Lillian is kidnapped by the Order and its soldiers. They put a bag over her head and take her to Silent Hill.



When Alex finds her in Overlook Penitentiary, she is bound to a crucifix-like device that is slowly stretching her body and killing her. In pain, she begs her son to kill her. The player must then make a choice on whether to shoot her to end her suffering, or to refuse and let her live through the pain of having her abdomen vertically stretched to a degree that results in her death. The choice affects the ending the player receives. Choosing to mercy kill Lillian leads to the "Smile!" ending, implying that this is what the developers of the game felt was the morally superior decision to make.

Personality
It is commented in-game that Lillian was a talented woman; she enjoyed sewing clothes for the other women of Shepherd's Glen and was a wonderful cook. Via Alex exploring the house, the player may learn that Lillian was overall very skillful in various forms of the arts and enjoyed poetry. Despite this, she didn't like her sons reading comics since she felt it was a waste of time.

After her capture and the truth of the town's history is revealed, Alex learns that she and her husband had been unable to show affection or love towards Alex due to the knowledge that he would one day be sacrificed. This explains the cold relationship they had with him, the seemingly preferential treatment they gave Joshua, and the lack of any emotion she displays at seeing him return. If the player tries to talk to Lillian, she merely tells Alex that she is busy and tired and would rather be alone.

After being questioned by Alex in regards to a note he had found, she is kidnapped by the Order and placed in solitary confinement. It is here, when Alex finally finds her tied to a crucifix-like machine which slowly stretches her body, that she shows remorse for her actions. She says she is sorry for the way they treated him and explains to Alex that she and his father always wanted to love him. The pact with the Order, which forced them to sacrifice one of their children, was the only reason she couldn't let herself love them both and had to choose one of them to die.

Quotes

 * "Adam, I know that you will soon return to me, but I miss you dearly and writing to you always calms my nerves. Everything here is the same, but with you gone, the house is so empty..."
 * "Alex... What are you doing here?"
 * "I miss your brother, Alex."
 * "Why are you talking to me? Aren't you supposed to be looking for your brother?"
 * "Alex, honey, not now."
 * "Just let me be, Alex."
 * "I can't talk to you right now, Alex. I'm tired."
 * "Oh, Alex... I'm so sorry."
 * "You don't know anything about Silent Hill!"
 * "Let me go, Alex. Ahhhh! It hurts... so much... make it stop... Please, Alex! Please!"
 * "I love you." (final words to Alex)

Trivia

 * She is voiced by Elizabeth Lambert, who also took the role of Margaret Holloway in the same game.
 * It can be speculated that Lillian is "L.S." in the believers' complaints memo in Silent Hill 3. Of course, Silent Hill 3 was released years before Homecoming, so having Lillian Shepherd being "L.S." wasn't the original intention of the Silent Hill 3 writers, but from a continuity perspective, it could work.
 * Both Adam and Lillian die by being separated into two pieces; Adam dies by being sliced in half, while Lillian dies be being torn in two. This is symbolic of both of them being "torn in half" between their two sons.
 * If the player enters first person mode and looks at Lillian's face after her death, she can be seen faintly smiling, possibly alluding to how her death was a release from her guilt and sadness.
 * The Otherworld version of the Shepherd household contains a life-size crucifix with a body on it, foreshadowing Lillian's death. The angry mask, frowning mask, and indifferent mask symbolize facets of Lillian. Alex comments that the angry mask "looks disappointed in me".
 * If Alex mercy kills his mother, there are no bullet holes or wounds on her forehead. It can be theorized Alex didn't shoot her in the forehead, but rather, her heart/chest. However, even if he did, Lillian would still be conscious in the 10 second timespan between the shot and the torture device, making the entire scene questionable.
 * Unused text in the game reveals a comment from Alex about his mother: "I never thought I'd hear Mom say that she loved me. But I guess it took the fear of death to make her realize it. I spent so long hating her, and now, I can't believe she's gone."
 * It is possible that the manifestation of Joshua seen throughout Homecoming was not only manifested from Alex's belief that Joshua is alive, but Lillian's apparent belief as well. She tells Alex, "Your father went to look for him" strongly suggesting she believes Joshua is alive.

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